Is there a balance to be had?

Enough is enough, and I've had enough (for now).

I haven't been regularly working out, though I've been wanting to.  I haven't been eating as healthy as I could or was, though I've been wanting to.  However...

I have been sorting through some of my personal messes and stresses.  I've been a shoulder for others.  I've been spending more time with my kids each night.  I've been sorting and cleaning more.  I've been doing a lot of other things that need to be done.  That's something to consider.  Granted, my health is a priority and sometimes it's hard to keep that in mind when so many other priorities are cropping up, but... there is a balance and health should not be brushed aside simply because other important issues and tasks start pressing in.

So today is a new day.  It's one day at a time and every damn day.

Some possible things I might implement to help me out with keeping my health in order, but without driving me crazy when other 'fires' crop up.  One thing I was thinking about doing is making daily goals and tasks.  For example, do X push-ups, do X squats, write down all expenses from the day, write down daily food.  I want to figure out my household budget and get my apartment in shape again.  But I also want to be able to have some alone time and creative time.  Who says you can't find a way to do all of this?  There has to be a way to do this without losing one's sanity and without facing burn out.

There's a few websites I found that touch on some of the household changes I want to implement.

In regards to paying off my family's debt, I found The Nesting Place Blog:  Becoming Debt Free & 6 Odd Tips That Helped Us.  I haven't looked at other parts of the blog, but I will be.  I also found another blog called And Then We Saved.  Both blogs are by people who payed off huge debts in a relatively short time.

For my health and fitness, I found 100 Most Inspirational Weight Loss Bloggers (of 2013).  I will be looking through them as I get time.  I'm also going to be looking through the What Did Jillian Say? blog, which has key points to the Jillian Michaels Show podcasts (though it doesn't start with the first podcasts, it's still useful).  I've been thinking about doing something similar, so it's a relief that I might not have to, given my time restraints.

I'll also be going through 100 Days of Real Food and trying to catch up.

Style is so much more

There's a certain point where a woman comes to her own.  Some hit that point in High School; some hit it when they are  well into their 50's or later.  There's just that moment where she just seems to feel completely at home in her own skin, that she feels the lusciousness of her being and the mystery of her soul.  A point where she doesn't feel the need to prove anything to anyone, even herself, when it comes to who she is, nor does she need to flaunt that fact either.  She just is.

Not all women reach this, sadly, but I'd like to hope that many do.  I honestly believe that most little girls (approximately 18 months to about 6 years old) naturally live in that stage.

I think I've touched on this moment in this past year.  Now, I may have firmly taken root in it.  Where fashion, personal style, self confidence, self awareness, and self acceptance finally become me.  For a short while, I tried to go back to the way I dressed the last few years, where I didn't really care how I looked as long as I was presentable and acceptable.  It didn't feel right.  I really only lasted a couple days before I went back to the newer style I've grown into.

In the last couple weeks, I've had several people comment on this (apparently very noticeable) change.  The most recent saying, "I've been watching you."   Creepy a little, but the elderly man is nice and I know he didn't mean anything by it.  The difference in how I am regarded by others is obvious, and I don't mind it.  I've had several people ask me where I find my clothes, accessories, and jewelry; they are usually surprised when I tell them that most of the items they ask about come from the same mainstream stores where they shop.  Perhaps that's the difference between being in fashion and having your own style.

Here's the thing...  My style is not to attract the attention of others; my appearance is just another artistic creation for me.  It's a story, a painting, a poem.  I sometimes wonder how others are interpreting who I am from what they are seeing.

There's this belief, that women dress for other women.  I've heard it go even farther with "if women were dressing for men, they'd be naked all the time."  But it was usually men that created the laws restricting how women can dress, and if no laws were written in regards to a woman's clothing, taboos usually existed (and were usually heavily enforced by men... though other women definitely had an influence on both).

For me, I don't dress for other women (or to compete with other women).  It's not worth my time or effort.  I tried it once (a friendly competitive game) and it was far too much work.  I do sometimes dress in a way I know will garner some attention, but that's not the driving force.

The person I dress for is myself.

It's nice when the way I'm dressing is appealing to or appreciated by other people, but that's not my motive.  I'm just me, I like me, and I have no reason not to express that fact.  I hope that my daughter and son see this in me, and carry it within themselves as they grow older.

Monsters taste like...

My son is scared of the dark.  He's scared monsters will come out and eat parts of him (like his ears).  It's a normal stage of development.

I don't like telling him that monsters aren't real, because to him, they are.  No amount of me tellng him that will change that reality for him.  I also don't want to tell him that real monsters are people who are very, very bad.  He's too young to be burdened with that.  I've heard of "Monster Be Gone" sprays, but I really would prefer the idea of him not being afraid of monsters rather than him just being 'protected' against them.

So... what do I tell him?

I tell him that there are no monsters in our apartment because Mommy eats monsters.
Yes... I eat monsters.  I like to eat monsters.  They are nummy.  Monsters taste like chocolate and chocolate is full of yums.

Here's the run down so far:
  * Zombies taste like shrimp; I cut them up and stirfry them with mushrooms and garlic.
  * Monsters taste like chocolate (which we just covered above).
  * Ghosts taste like whipped cream.
  * Vampires taste like coconuts.
  * Skeletons taste like candy canes.  (And I make ice cream sundays out of monsters, vampires, skeletons and ghosts because that is just the best.)
  * Aliens taste like lemonade, and I make smoothies out of them.
  * Evil Robots are taken apart to use as cooking pans and such.

I also sit in scary trees to hunt those creatures.  I like creepy old houses, because that's where those creatures like to go.  Mommy is one hungry lady.

I'd love to hear how other parents handle this sort of situation or how their parents did.  :-)

Thoughts on food...

Working out has been set aside for the last two weeks, mostly due to my youngest cat dying and my my family catching a nasty stomach virus.  It honestly feels like I skipped my exercises for longer than that, but I haven't.  (I did workout on Monday last week.)  I didn't bother taking my measurements or my weight last week because I don't need any increase to make me feel bad and possibly demotivate me and I'm not sure I'll take either this week either... I probably should.

I watched a documentary called "Forks Over Knives."  Though there's a lot in the documentary that was eskewed (as the review Forks Over Knives:  Is the Science Legit? discusses), there are also some nuggets of information that is worth considering.  As with most things, it's good to take in the information, think crtically on it, research, and then see what seems right for you and your circumstances.

Lately, I've been trying to rework my family's eating again.  Mainly, my focus is balancing healthy eating with a lower budget.  My family has been eating less overly processed foods for a while and eating more organic foods, but within reason.  Some foods should be bought organic or avoided all together if you can't afford or find organic versions.  Other foods can be the conventional versions.  GMOs are fairly scary, so I would prefer to avoid those as much as I can, but I need to do more research on where they might be hidden (rather than simply looking at the price code sticker on produce).
Meats and dairy are a must, from my research.  They tend to harbor the most amounts of pesticides, artificial hormones, diseases, and so forth.  But they are also a lot more expensive than the conventional versions.  As for produce, there are a few tricks to figure out what to buy organic and what to buy conventional (though GMOs are also a concern with conventional produce).  Here's a couple of the tricks...  Buy organic if you eat the skins or they have soft/thin skins (apples, green beans), if the produce has a high water content (celery), and if insects are more likely to prefer them (berries, grapes, kale, potatoes).  Things like broccoli, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, and bananas don't need to be organic (unless you plan on using the banana peels for cooking).  Certain items, like berries, are so heavily sprayed that I've seen in recommended by nutritionalists that you simply do not even buy them if your aren't going to be buying them organic.  I will be making lists of what is okay to buy conventional and what should be organic.

I have been thinking about introducing more beans to our diet.  Limiting certain meats to 2 times a week.  That would cut down our costs a lot.  Really, we only need to eat one serving of red meat per week to get the health benefits from it.  I've already started eating more beans this week, roasted garbanzo beans in my lunch salad and such.  (And I've been taking in very hearty salads with little dressing or a mix of salsa, yogurt, and nutritional yeast as a flavoring.)

I've been looking at CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) groups.  Each year I debate about joining, and which one I should go with.  In NJ, there weren't many to choose from in my area.  Here, there's many, but I usually miss the deadline because I can't decide which to go with.  This year, I think we will finally do it.  It's a lot of money upfront, but breaks down to about $25 for things that cost far more at the grocery store... and it's all stuff my family tends to eat.  The produce might not be certified organic (except from one farm), but I've looked at the methods used by the non-organic farms and they seem very careful with how their plants are grown.  I've also looked into local meat farms and found several that pasture their animals, which is definitely something I prefer.  Price-wise, I believe these meats are close to the cost at Wegmans for their organic meats, if not less.  I want the normal grocery stores to become more of a "fill in the gaps" place for us.  The Farmer's Marken in Bel Air will also be opening in less than two months, and I want to start taking my kids to that as well (since they love helping pick out the produce and also eating some while we are shopping).

The fact my kids are healthy, are not overweight, and love fruits (and many veggies) means that maybe I'm doing something right with all this effort...

I'm sorry, but I'm all tied up...

It's been a while since I last posted.  I've been dealing with a lot of strange situations, both at work and at home, but life moves on.  My schedule has become a lot busier, which I didn't really think was possible.  It's good though.  Life has been pretty fine to me and mine.

I stopped working out for several months.  With everything going on, I just couldn't bring myself to continue, especially when I didn't have much of a plan for after I completed the 30 Day Shred.  I have continued trying to improve my family's meals, slowly switching to more organics and such.

** Right now, I'm watching my kids as they play and scream in the bath, covered in bubbles and loving life.  **

In the past month, I've gotten my act back together.  My workout time is non-negotiable (except this week!) and my weekend "me" time is non-negotiable (except last weekend!).  No ifs, ands, or buts.  If I don't have those times, I get a little closer to boarding the crazy train.

My workouts are cardio, strength, and core exercises.  Hiking is thrown in a couple times a month.  Noon time walks have become my reprieve from the office.  I've already lost some weight and inches and have noticed certain muscles toning and bulking up.  My goals are high: bench press 200 lbs, lift 50 lbs per arm, do 30 to 50 proper push ups, do 10 pull ups, and run/sprint 1 full mile.  There are a few other goals but these are the main ones.

I'm also trying to do all this while still spending quality time with my kids, make my jewelry, clean and organize, and more.  To give an idea of my average weekday schedule:

• Get up early (typically between 5:45 am and 6:15 am) and start my morning routine.  Wake husband up between 7:00 am and 7:10 am so he can start making the children's breakfast and get them ready for school.  Continue getting ready for work, helping with the kids at times, prepping my meals (unless my hubby makes me breakfast), and then rush out the door.
• Work, work, work... walk and/or exercise... work, work, work.
• Exercise if I have time before I pick up the kids.  This is either with my co-worker, my oldest niece, or by myself.
• Pick up the kids, feed them, spend quality time with them, clean up after them a few times, get them ready for bed, get them to bed.  All of this is done on my own (my husband starts work before I get home and gets home after we are all asleep).
• Either go to sleep immediately or take a few minutes to myself before going to sleep.
• Wake up a few times, either because of the kids, the hubby, or just because.
• Start all over again.

This doesn't include the small things that come up (phone calls, etc) or the larger things that I am responsible for (paying bills, etc).

But life is good.  :-)

Getting My "Bottoms Up!"

Instead of continuing the Shred, I decided to try a change.  A couple weeks ago, I found my "Bottoms Up!" book from when I was young, and have been meaning to start doing the weightlifting workouts after I finished the Shred.  I remember that each time I did this workout, I got results fast in regards to muscle definition and strength.  In the past, I didn't really combine this workout with cardio, but I am now.  A good balance.

The workout calls for a pyramid rep system.  For each exercise combination, you first do a certain amount of reps at a low weight.  The next set is a lower number of reps with slightly heavier weights.  The last set is the lowest number of reps with slightly heavier weights than the second set of reps...

... I don't have time for that ...

I did 2 sets of each exercise combination, 10 reps each with 8 lb weights.  I didn't have enough time to do three sets of reps, but my muscles were definitely feeling tired.  I honestly would rather be using 10 lbs to 15 lbs right now, but that's okay.  I'll do that later.  I want to be lifting 25 lbs for each arm, like I did in the past, but I want to work up to that (or should I say, I want to get used to the exercises again before I do that).  What can I say?  Strength is an awesome goal!

The cardio I did today was jump roping... without the jump rope.  I read that it's a good way to get accustomed to the movements, timing, and to get the endurance.  Plus, it was more convenient to do in my apartment in the small amount of time I had.  (Something is better than nothing, me thinks.)

Something I heard today is that toddlers need to eat approximately 1600 calories per day!  If they are active,  they need up to 2000!!!  I want to look into that a bit more, but holy cow!  Makes me feel better about my son eating so much at night, especially since I'm sure he doesn't get enough calories during the day.  I'll be researching this a bit more.

Day 27 and Some Parenting Links

First, here are some links for parenting that I really liked.

5 Tips to Fight Back Against Perfectionism

Parenting is Child’s Play: Responsibility

As for my health/fitness endeavors... I didn't get up as early as the last few mornings this morning, mainly because I went to be in my bed at around midnight.  My daughter was crying and I decided to stay in there after my husband got home.  Needless to say, I was awakened a number of time through the night/morning.  Regardless, I was out of bed earlier than usual, my daughter hanging onto me because she was awake anyways.

I did, however, get Day 27 (L3) of the shred done while "Alice in Wonderland" played in the background.  I made sure to drink a little coffee and eat a couple of my energy cubes before I started prepping for my workout.  My daughter went back and forth between working out with me and watching her movie.  My workout wasn't as amazing as it was the other day.  I was less motivated and more distracted.  I'm not sure if it's because I was doing it in the morning (as opposed to my usual time) or if it was because my daughter was there or if it was a number of issues (including those two).  Even though it wasn't perfect, it was still a workout, and I know my daughter enjoyed doing it with me (when she chose to).  In my opinion, that's what counts!  I plan to do some jump roping when I get home from work.  Even though I felt today's Shred wasn't as effective, this still might be a better way to go for my daily workout routine.  I also may fit in some other exercises (weights, etc) with my children, since it's a good thing for them to do and see Mommy doing.