Saturday, May 11, 2013

Style is so much more


There's a certain point where a woman comes to her own.  Some hit that point in High School; some hit it when they are  well into their 50's or later.  There's just that moment where she just seems to feel completely at home in her own skin, that she feels the lusciousness of her being and the mystery of her soul.  A point where she doesn't feel the need to prove anything to anyone, even herself, when it comes to who she is, nor does she need to flaunt that fact either.  She just is.

Not all women reach this, sadly, but I'd like to hope that many do.  I honestly believe that most little girls (approximately 18 months to about 6 years old) naturally live in that stage.

I think I've touched on this moment in this past year.  Now, I may have firmly taken root in it.  Where fashion, personal style, self confidence, self awareness, and self acceptance finally become me.  For a short while, I tried to go back to the way I dressed the last few years, where I didn't really care how I looked as long as I was presentable and acceptable.  It didn't feel right.  I really only lasted a couple days before I went back to the newer style I've grown into.

In the last couple weeks, I've had several people comment on this (apparently very noticeable) change.  The most recent saying, "I've been watching you."   Creepy a little, but the elderly man is nice and I know he didn't mean anything by it.  The difference in how I am regarded by others is obvious, and I don't mind it.  I've had several people ask me where I find my clothes, accessories, and jewelry; they are usually surprised when I tell them that most of the items they ask about come from the same mainstream stores where they shop.  Perhaps that's the difference between being in fashion and having your own style.

Here's the thing...  My style is not to attract the attention of others; my appearance is just another artistic creation for me.  It's a story, a painting, a poem.  I sometimes wonder how others are interpreting who I am from what they are seeing.

There's this belief, that women dress for other women.  I've heard it go even farther with "if women were dressing for men, they'd be naked all the time."  But it was usually men that created the laws restricting how women can dress, and if no laws were written in regards to a woman's clothing, taboos usually existed (and were usually heavily enforced by men... though other women definitely had an influence on both).

For me, I don't dress for other women (or to compete with other women).  It's not worth my time or effort.  I tried it once (a friendly competitive game) and it was far too much work.  I do sometimes dress in a way I know will garner some attention, but that's not the driving force.

The person I dress for is myself.

It's nice when the way I'm dressing is appealing to or appreciated by other people, but that's not my motive.  I'm just me, I like me, and I have no reason not to express that fact.  I hope that my daughter and son see this in me, and carry it within themselves as they grow older.

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